That Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like consuming a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
